Awakenings
by DouglasChild
Summary: She was more talented than what everyone thought, and had the help of an angel. At what lenghts would a person go to get back her child and the rest of her family. E/B daddyward! cannon couples and rated M for serious vampire loving.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

Well welcome to the crazy world of my head! This story belongs to everyone that had ever inspired me: my cat, my dog and the other authors that I love. Of course the characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

And by the way feel free to correct me! English is my second language and I can be really sloppy with grammar sometimes. As I had mentioned on my profile, I would like someone that can proofread my texts before I publish them just in case. Ok now that I had made my offer feel free to read your hearts away!

Epilogue

Thru the rabbit hole

The air was scarce, I couldn't breathe, and at this point I could no longer feel the pain. I know now that all the promises I made were worthless. Everything around me is shattered. I looked to my right and there was Jacob, his face showed a tortured expression; he either wanted to cry or throw up, maybe both. His gigantic muscles were clenched, frustration drowning his wide features. Looking to my left there was Rosalie, her appearance didn't change, always beautiful and collected; however today there was pain covering every single inch of her. She was holding my baby, my daughter, her little lifeless body; my poor baby is just as dead as me…

Another wave of pain shocked my body violently, I didn't want this, today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. My daughter was supposed to be healthy and strong, instead she looked too small, too fragile and breakable. I hadn't been strong enough to carry her to full term, my weak body broke her, I broke us.

I barely got us to the 6 month breakdown, by then she had broken my ribs and fractured my spinal cord in two different places. She didn't mean to do it; she was just an innocent baby. After all she had been as strong as her daddy. According to Carlisle once they took out her out, I was going into to cardiac arrest; which seemed to be the truth.

\- Let me touch her! – I wanted to sound aggravated, I wanted Rosalie away from my daughter. I wanted to be the one holding her while she… crossed that invisible line between life and death. But Rosalie refused to let her go.

\- Rosalie give her to me now! – His voice sounded furious, menacing, he was ready to kill, I knew it. I didn't want to see him like this but I couldn't close my eyes.

\- No! Please I want to hold her until she is gone! Please let me hold her!- her pleading words didn't comfort my aching soul, she had no right, but to some degree I understood her.

However I still thought that my pain was greater than hers.

\- She is not yours to say good bye to! Leach! Give her to Bella! – That was Jacob, he had cornered Rosalie by the wall, his body overpowering over hers. But she was not going to fall without giving a fight. She was ready to attack whoever got too close to the baby. I didn't get to see what happened next because it happened faster than what my eyes could follow, however the next thing I saw was Rosalie, her right arm was ripped away from her body, and Jacob transformed on top of her; now it was me who wanted to throw up.

Edward was at the end of the bed, holding our daughter safely in his arms, she was wrapped up in a pink blanket; he had taken her away from Rosalie's clutches before Jacob attacked.

\- Take her outside Jacob; she is out of her mind right now. – His voice was dull; he had accepted the imminent end of our story. I could tell.

He had been the one that took the baby out once she was out of oxygen; everyone was out hunting, with the exception of Rosalie and Jacob.

My baby however is now lying peacefully in her father's arms, even though I tried not to look at him it was impossible not to noticed, him as well as us was broken, I was glad that he wasn't able to cry, I don't think I could be able to handle seeing him cry.

Edward placed my little baby to my side, she is so beautiful, I could see Edward and I could see Charlie in her face my beautiful girl. I wanted to touch her, her skin had started to look blue, purple spots around her mouth, she couldn't breathe and I couldn't move. I could see her chest rising slower every single time. I could feel it too, my life fading away; I didn't want to go without touching her, without touching him. With all the strength I could muster I raised my hand and took her little hand in mine.

I looked at Edward too, and without saying a word, he grabbed both our hands in his.

\- I am sorry. – I could feel myself saying but I was too far gone to be able to control my words. – forgive me…

\- Bella I love you please don't...- I knew he was talking, he was saying something else, but I couldn't hear him anymore. I could tell the exact moment I left my body behind, the same moment I heard his sorrow burst thru his chest in an aggravated scream.

Everything turned, spin in the air like a roller coaster. And then it stopped; I could tell I was no longer at my house, with my husband and my daughter. I was outside; the fresh air gave it away.

I can't describe the feeling of dying, I felt nothing, I was just floating on thin air. The obscurity involved me like an old friend. Just let me breath; I closed my eyes embracing the numbness.

It lasted less than a second.

The meadow, that's where I was, maybe after all that's happened, this was my personal heaven, my happy place, only this time I wasn't happy.

I am lost; the last time I had been here was before the wedding, on those endless afternoons after graduation. Surrounded by wild flowers, the meadow looked beautiful; he would've liked it. With a knot on my throat I looked around, my legs were about to give up on me.

My body covered in the same bloodied nightgown, shredded from the middle exposing my body to the cool air.

I looked around trying to understand why would I had to come back here, if the only reason why I loved this place was because of him, to my surprise, I rapidly found the reason.

I wasn't alone, at the other side of the meadow two strange figures were standing holding hands, one much smaller than the other one.

\- Mama! – Even though I had never heard her voice before, I knew who she was. She was beautiful, her red hair was unmistakable, and after all she was her father's daughter.

She ran towards me, the grass almost as tall as she is, she was so petite. Her curly hair was braided with a lace, and her dress was blue, a baby blue shade. Without thinking, not even caring at this point, I took her in my arms, I didn't know how my newborn baby turned into this toddler in question of minutes but I didn't want to dwell on it either.

My little girl is healthy and strong, just like she was supposed to be. The other figure got closer and closer, it was a very tall woman, and her brown hair didn't even reached her shoulders.

\- She is very beautiful isn't she? – The strangers voice was sweet, very maternal. But I didn't know who she was. She looked familiar, but I couldn't quiet place from where I knew her. She is wearing an old fashioned dress, silky and intricate; the epitome of elegance. She reminded me of old movies, black and white.

\- Who are you? – I took my baby in my arms and lifted her away from the stranger. She didn't answer immediately, she even chuckled a bit.

\- I am your child's biological grandma darling. – It took me a bit to understand, when I could recognize her, the shape of her eyes and high cheek bones gave her away, and they were Edwards too!

\- I.. I don't know what to say…- speechless, thoughtless, do you need more adjectives? I've never thought this day would come, but then again I thought I was going to live forever.

\- You were not meant to die today, Bella. – She was looking at me sadly – My son was not meant to see more of his loved ones die.

I felt weak on my knees, the pain too strong to hold myself up. I held my baby tighter against my side.

\- I fought, I couldn't, my body gave up way before I did... – While new sobs shocked my body I could feel my baby cuddling against my neck, and all I could do was to hug her tighter.

\- I know darling, that's why you have to go back.

\- What? – No fucking way.

\- You have to see the truth Bella, after all that has always been your gift.

\- I don't understand. – I could not comprehend a single word. What the hell!

\- You don't have to darling, you will eventually! You will have four years Bella, make them count. – She extended her hands in Renesme's way reaching out for her.

\- Four years? – I questioned her, doubting my sanity, Renesme moved around until she was standing beside her "grandma" she is waving at me, I didn't wanted her away from me, I reached for her but she just ran away, she didn't run too fast, but before she could get too far away, she looked back at me.

\- Mama my name is Emma! – Emma… I never thought… but I couldn't let this happen, I didn't want this!

\- Baby! Please come back!

\- It's time to go! Bella.

Panic was raising, I couldn't stand to watch my baby get away, so I just ran towards her until the air was out of my lungs, I ran but she disappeared on thin air, she was nowhere in sight.

\- Emma! – Please where is she? Where is she? What's going on?

And just like a nightmare, everything faded, a blur, a haze. I fell face first into the ground, but it wasn't dirt I fell into, it was harder and smoother than dirt, a rug, I opened my eyes, the green and blue patterns braided in the fabric were familiar. I knew this rug, I knew where this rug was supposed to be.

A place I used to call home, my old bedroom, this is my old bedroom in Phoenix.

Standing up, I could see my room, the queen size bed in the middle and the dresser, the closet and the bathroom I didn't have to share, and then there I was, me, the old me, the fifteen year old me that barely got out of puberty.

This is madness.

Like it? hate it? Let me know!


	2. Chapter 1 Fast progression

I am so exited for those who had chosen to follow my story! I cant tell you how much that means to me! Well here it goes the second part, I hope you guys like it.

Almost every character belongs to SM.

I could not believe it, this is madness. How is this possible?

Had I been dreaming all this time?

The pure thought of that gave me the chills.

I ran out of my room and everything was the same as I remember, up to the T. From the crazy paintings that my mom made when we were in California, to the flower vases gone wrong.

I sat in the middle of the living room floor, confused and dizzy.

The clock marked 5:30 in the morning, the faint glow of dawn cutting thru the window. I looked towards the kitchen, a calendar always hanging on the wall, different post it's reminding me when payments were supposed to be made, March 22 2006 was marked as today's date. My mind in shambles, was it all a mere product of my imagination, was their beauty and nurturing nature just a spec of a story made up in my head.

No! I refused to believe Edward and the Cullen's were just a dream, I refused to believe Emma was just a product of my imagination, never meant to be real. The pure possibility of that got me to a place where I didn't want to be. It must be nightmare.

But it wasn't, I knew for sure that they were as real as me, harden flesh, scarred and united.

They were my family, even though they didn't know it yet.

My breath got caught on my windpipe; I knew the why of this mysterious reboot, I had been lucky enough to be given a second chance at life, a second chance of forever. So many mistakes and regrets, every memory of us marked on my flesh.

A reminder of what had been lost.

In this mysterious second reality, If I wanted my husband and my child together again I had to make several changes, the old Bella was dead, this is the new Bella, me, I had lost everything and I am not willing to make the same mistake twice.

"After all the truth has always been your gift" revelation after revelation kept coming my way, that is my gift, I had been just like Edward and Alice, even Jasper. My instinct had always gotten me the answers, like that one time with Victoria during the battle against the newborns or when Edward left me; I knew that jumping off the cliff would get me to him eventually, I knew that distracting Victoria was the way to go, destiny was putty on my hands, but it was blocked…

My thoughts are blocked, shielded against the world; I bet the Cullen's would think my theory fascinating. This time everything would be different, I knew what caused our downfall in the first place.

My sorrow came back full force, Emma does not exist in this reality, and I couldn't be farther away from Edward. I stood by the window on the living room, the weight of the situation hanging over my head.

My child gone, that was the first mistake that I needed to change, when I first found out I was pregnant, the whole family- even me – we treated the pregnancy like a human pregnancy, we never even thought about the possibility about the baby having vampire needs, just abilities. My baby was hungry; she didn't receive enough nutrients to survive after the birth. She needed blood; my baby needed different food that I couldn't give her back then.

And my body was extremely malnourished, even before I got pregnant, I knew Edward was worried about that, but I refused to listened, I felt fine. But If I was as fine, my body could have carried the baby longer. I looked at my reflection on the window and for the first time I saw me as I truly was. Too skinny, transparent, and erasable. I never worried about my own health; I had to worry about everyone else first, no matter how many times Rene or Charlie worried over me, I just never listened.

Looking at the reflection on the window…

Always the clumsy Bella, the one that needed to be rescued from everything, if not by Edward or the family, it was by the wolves. I guess I've never realized how truly breakable I was.

Things need to start getting on motion; I couldn't stay here sitting in the living room for the next two years. Because If I let it all happen again, at the end nothing would change.

I was so absorbed in my inner list of things to do that I didn't notice my mother walking into the room. She was wearing her signature silky robe; it was pale orange with a long gypsy kind of gown on the bottom: very Rene. She looked back at me, as if knowing that I was no longer her fifteen year old daughter, but a complete stranger, she was as always really perceptive to her surroundings. Maybe, only maybe my eyes gave me away.

\- Morning mom – only then she smiled at me.

\- Morning baby! Had an interesting night? – Yes, she noticed, she tried to sound uninterested while walking towards the kitchen to make her daily dose of organic coffee or something very close to it.

\- You could say that again – The clock showed 6:30, today was school day, I should get ready for it – it was mind blowing.

\- Well, it suits you just fine baby, you look truly awake.- her timing as always impeccable.

\- I feel awake; actually I have been considering doing some changes around mom. Would you mind if I join you at your Yoga class this afternoon. – I know she didn't want me to see the surprise on her eyes, but she wasn't very good at it, she had insisted for ages that I should joint, if only to improve my balance. – I am just tired of getting hurt all the time you know? It gets old.

\- That sound great darling! It will be so good for you. Is there anyone special you want to impress? – She tried to look uninterested again but then she is pretty awful at it.

\- No, just for me; and you know, the bones I haven't broken yet.

\- Sounds good enough to me!

Well Yoga is mother approved.

Being back in this school was earthshattering. It just reminded me of the days I would spend with Edward and the rest of the family. It makes me feel restless, I just wanted to go home already, but I knew it wasn't the right way to approach the problem. If Edward saw me today it would be so much harder for me to get to him at the end.

Unfortunately for me I remembered every single detail of everything.

The classes were just a déjà vu, I could remember most of the stuff the teachers were talking about, most of my classes were regular at this point last time, I would not have to worry about AP curses until next semester. I was a little panicked this morning, because I mean we are talking freshmen year all over again, that's the stuff nightmares are made of.

I ate by myself at lunch, no one to sit with, my old beaten book resting on my well-worn backpack. If I had been depressed before school started, this made so much worse.

And just like promised, once school is over, Rene is waiting for me at home, a yoga mat under each arm, she is wearing Yoga pants; As if that wasn't the worst part, to make matters worse, she wanted me to wear them as well. I fought it but I knew there was no winning when it came down to my mother and clothing; after all she is almost as bad as Alice.

I better get used to it.

\- No! This is… too painful. – I could barely form a complete sentence.

\- Honey you need to relax, if you don't relax there is no point in doing this. – my mother was doing something called the standing bow pose, she is holding her right leg in the air behind her while her other leg is planted on the floor giving her balance; her arms are pointing forward, making an arrow and bow figure, I guess now I knew why Phil didn't mind marrying her so fast, the woman was flexible!

Ew! Not the right train of thought.

\- I can't… do this no more – I was trying to do the same pose; however I wasn't as successful as my mother. I could put my leg as high as she could; holding it there was the main issue in my case.

\- Yes you can silly! You just need to strengthen your muscles, you know you should join to my kickboxing class with me, that and the yoga could do wonders.

\- Guess so, I could give it a try. – It sounds extremely painful though, I might die in the process.

\- Great! We could use this as our bonding time! – Even my face muscles hurt so all I could do was nod and try not to cry out in agony.

I am doing this for my daughter, my daughter and for my husband he is not losing us again, for my family; that was my mantra, the only consolation I had while getting stronger.

Emma and Edward

Time went faster and faster, sometimes it felt as if someone was pressing the fast-forward button in an imaginary remote control, school continued, I had to make a couple of friends; however I tried to keep them at arm's length, I didn't want to miss anybody if I could help it, sure we ate lunch together but I think they just wanted to eat with me out of pure pity.

I was always alone.

I missed Edward terribly; my hormones were raging, horny all the time. I found that masturbation would take the edge off the day sometimes, I had never truly experience it before; never curious enough. I wanted him, I needed him, and the only thing I could hope for is for him to need me too. For him to feel me, the same way I do without him being here. Some days the longing gets unbearable.

While the time passed, each week I could see a new change in my body, my hips grew rounder, my waist slimmer and my breasts were perkier, also my skin changed tones.

The yoga lessons helped, I also went to take kickboxing with Rene, which at the beginning was very challenging but I was willing to make the effort. The problem with my balance got worse on the long run, if that was a possibility. So my mom practically forced me down to the doctor's office. Doctor Lewis, a really nice doctor, he performed a bunch of different tests on me, blood withdrawal, pee, feces and a physical exam; thankfully everything came back ok, but Dr. Lewis diagnosed me with muscle weakness, yes that's a thing! He recommended exercise and a strict diet. I guess I knew the answer all along.

My mom took it really seriously, I had to eat a shit load of greens and proteins, junk food was out of question, which I kind of expected. I had to take at least 2 smoothies made of fruit and vegetables with a weird muscle mix per day, let me just tell you, it was disgusting. But the results were there; my weight went from 98 pounds to 110 in question of weeks. Now I realized how underweight I was, how lanky I looked, even my skin color changed a bit; I am still on the fair side but finally after years of malnourishment I was able to get a little tan. According to Dr. Lewis it should be better if I gained at least another 5 pounds, that in order to gain more muscle mass.

I feel good with my body.

Kickboxing was fun, also my mom insisted in gymnastics, I guess I never knew how fun sports can be when you're good at them. I liked gymnastics so much I decided to join the cheer squad at school next semester. My mom looked so proud I just had to try.

But it made me wonder; all this changes had turned me into someone else, not the same Bella I was in forks, not better but at the same time not worse, just a different kind of Bella. Would Edward be attracted to this new Bella?

"Yes" our love ran deeper that just out an appearance, which is a fact.

And before I knew my freshman year was over, during the summer I helped my way to the cheer squad coach, I was her assistant as part of my "community service hours", she liked me enough and she saw my physical progress, she went as far as to ask me to join the squad; I agreed. The strict workout regimen and diet continued; I reached 115 pounds of muscle. I practiced the old school routines all summer, I thought about getting a part time job, but I was still 15, that didn't give me plenty of options.

By the beginning of sophomore year football season was on reeling, the cheer squad was booked for practices and performances. To my unfortunate luck I was the smallest "petite" member of the team, which meant? I was the one thrown into the air, every single time…

Today is our first performance, the first football game of the season. Feeling awfully nervous all I could eat and keep down was a couple of fruits and a granola bar. Our uniform consisted of a crop top that only reached 3 ½ fingers under my breasts, and a high waist skirt with shorts underneath, the school colors Red and black.

And also I am sporting a brand new belly piercing; mom can be really persuasive when she wants to be. It also gave so much more confidence that I gave it credit of. Rene told me it was my birthday present, with something else that I would eventually get to see.

With every single modification I did to my body, I wondered how different the situation could have been. But in the past few months I learned to not dwell on the past, it drives me nuts!

I was not the only one nervous though, my team mates were pissing in their pants too; it made me feel comfortable. I mean this is nothing compared to what I been thru, I died and came back ready to change the same outcome.

Confident never suit me this good.

\- Bella are you ready? – Coach asked.

\- I was born ready coach – _not for this, but I was ready just the same._

\- Good! That's the spirit.

\- Let's do it! - Some of my team mates shouted from behind, their faces were flushed with excitement.

\- Yeah!

The football field was filled with the players already; the crowds were screaming from the bleachers. I felt the need to run. However the squad was ready and so was I; we performed just like we practiced a million times, a couple of details got out of hand when Melissa, she is in the right end of the pyramid, fell on her ass, but she got right back to it without a problem. I think the most complicated thing was to always keep a smile on my face, I would concentrate so much on the movements I tend to forget that facial expressions can be just as important.

We made it thru.

At the end of the game we won 23-15, everyone was exited; the school paper took pictures of everyone. I was walking towards the parking lot -where I knew Rene should be waiting for me- when I got a glimpse of him…

-Daddy! –There by the bleachers, my dad was standing with mom waiting with a rose bouquet, I ran as fast as I could – which was pretty impressive compared to past experiences – Charlie gave the bouquet to mom and she took it without a problem.

His arms wide opened received me, he had never hugged me like this, well except for my wedding day, but that is still way ahead of time. I thought I would never get to see him again; I hugged him harder.

\- I can't believe you are here! – My voice sounded strange even to me, it must be the tears.

\- I could never miss this, you are so great! – I don't remember my dad giving me compliments very often, I mean he always said I was smart and a "good kid" but to tell me that out front; it kind of knock me out.

\- Thanks dad – I hugged him one more time, my mom got closer to us, and I got her trapped in a family hug, she laughed and just let herself feel the love! Dad took the flowers and placed them on my arms, I smiled at them both; a little plastic square shaped with a pound and a number one sticking at the top, for the first time I felt like I was their number 1 everything.

Rene took her time taking pictures of me by myself, with the squad, coach even a couple of football players, my favorite picture though; is the one when both my parents are hugging me in the middle, that one couch helped us take. Both my parents decided to take me to dinner, a fancy Italian place. I guess some of the most important dates in my life will be in Italian Restaurants. My dad gave me his jacket because according to him, a father should never see his daughter with a crop top.

I agreed.

During dinner I had the strongest need to tell my parents that I had decided to move to Forks, but I wasn't sure it was the right time to do it.

"No time like the present" My mother's in law voice kept creeping me out every single time I hear it. I sometimes hear her during the night, nothing very specific; I think that's her way of telling she was always close by just to remind me that this is not a dream.

\- Mom, dad… - I got their attention – I have been considering lately… um I want to live with dad for a while.

\- What?! – They almost shouted at the same time.

\- It's just I want to spend more time with dad before I have to go to college – I tried to explain myself – it's nothing against you mom, it's just I don't know when will I have the chance to connect with dad again.

\- Have you really thought about it? – my mom's sadness is palpable, and of course my dad felt bad for her, however I could see a hint of hope hidden behind his eyes.

\- Sure, I could move second semester of my junior year, which would get me one more year to finish community service and accumulate AP credits. Of course if it's not trouble for dad…

\- Well we can sure discuss this later on. – my father nodded but also added his own opinion – It's not a problem to me Bells, you know my home will always be your home, but you should talk it out with your mom.

And with that, I set the ball rolling, Rene was sad but happy – the complexity of her feelings didn't go beyond me- I wanted to give dad a chance to really have a daughter and father relationship. We set up a budget for a car and clothes I could take with me once I leave phoenix.

During the spring of my sophomore year, my mom met Phil, and just like last time they fitted together like pieces of a puzzled. I also got a job, I was the receptionist at a community center, sometimes I would help with the Yoga classes or the Karate class for the kids, which made me think of Emma, and got me sad all over again. I tried to talk to Charlie at least once a week. He told me he got a surprise for me once I get to Forks.

My red truck, it better be my old red truck.

I was getting more and more restless with each passing week, I felt like a lion trapped in a cage. When I least expected the summer was over and my mom told me she was getting married in August. The wedding was in Cancun Mexico, beautiful place. Mom finally got her happy ending. I was waiting for mine.

Once my birthday and October rolled around, we bought the airplane tickets; mom and Phil decided to move along to the East coast. When coach found out I was moving, the squad threw me a good bye party at the gym. They made me promise that if I joined the cheer squad over there I wouldn't cheer as well as I do it for Phoenix. The same thing happened at the community center once I presented my resignation letter.

Rene and I went shopping for winter clothing, with all the money we saved up during the year my closet increased in size and quality for sure. Also Phil bought a new laptop for me to use, now I had no excuse for my inconsiderate lack of communication with my mother.

My mom had a different goodbye present for me. Her latest hobby has been photography, so, she bought a ton of new outfits that a mother should never make her teenage daughter wear and she took me to the desert to take pictures of me. I refused to participate at the beginning, but my mother can be quite manipulative with those tears. The present of course was more directed towards her than me. But I got to admit she takes really good pictures. She even bought heels, and I am talking really high heels. Once she got the pictures she wanted, she agreed to help me pack my clothes, books and the rest of my belongings; and we sent them thru the mail. Charlie called five days later to tell us the boxes had arrived.

After New Year's Eve I was packed. My flight was on a Friday, January 4th during the afternoon. Exactly like the last time Phil drove my mother and I to the airport, the windows rolled all the way down and Rene talking about how much she was going to miss me; she was bubbling from the front seat; as if that would change my mind. Unlike last time I was extremely excited. The electric current running wild on every pore of my skin, it only told me Edward was getting closer and closer, almost like an Edward radar, just so much better.

Just like last time my mother took me to the other side of the airport, I could tell she wanted me to change my mind, and I understand, I understand a mothers love now, and just like she wanted me to stay, I needed to go and take back what had been taken from me; my own daughter, my own flesh and blood.

And my husband, but of course I couldn't tell her that.

\- Take care darling, and say hi to Charlie for me ok?- she was fully crying at this point and I couldn't take it, so I just hugged her as hard as I could, she needed this, but I think I needed it more.

\- I will, I love you mom.

\- Oh honey! I love you too!

After the heartbreak and all the tears we could finally move on as it was planned, I would try to call her just as much as I could. Life is about to get a new level of hard.

Thanks for your kind reviews!


	3. Chapter 2 Autopilot weekend

Hello! Well Just to let you guys know I will be making a few corrections on the chapters while I keep writing... I will only upload new stuff on Fridays and Saturdays at night, just to let you know. Thank you for the kind reviews and following my story, it gives me hope that I am good lol.

Well same ol' story, the character belong to SM and this is my take to them. Have fun! and special hello's to JosyACullen I know you are reading!

Chapter 2: Autopilot weekend.

After half a day of changing airplanes, I finally was standing in Port Angeles airport, a little thing compared to Phoenix and Seattle. I was carrying three bags, I wasn't really struggling but two guys at the baggage claim really insisted on helping me, and I was about to tell to take a hike when my father appeared at the entrance, his sheriff uniform quiet visible, I almost wanted to laugh; not at Charlie but at the two guys whom once realized the police man was here to pick me up no words were necessary to make them dissapear.

Just like the last time he picked me up at Port Angeles we left in his police cruise, only this time I didn't feel uncomfortable with him. The reason I think might be because I remember being so close to him at the end, I missed him. I asked him about a lot of things like his job, Billy and his friends at the station, he seem pretty at ease with me at the end. The conversation about Billy turned into the conversation about my old red truck and just like last time I got really excited about it.

The words "welcome to Forks" had never meant much to me before now.

Our house brought me to tears, all the memories that no one shared with me now. The red truck in the front, all its glory faded with the paint; I couldn't help but to hopped in the back just for the sake of it, my big thing! My Chevy! I was so happy to see it, to touch it. I hugged Charlie; he will have to get used to the hugs now, I am not wasting our time together this time. He seemed surprised but pleased at the same time, as always the man that can't be moved.

The house smelled the same as the last time I had been here, pine and sand wood. The same furniture, I walked the stairs as fast as I could, trying to remember how my old room looked, but somehow this time it looked different. The bed was different, bigger, wider, the blanket comforter was beige and brown and the closet was way bigger than the other one. However the desk and the night stand were the same, I looked back at my dad, he was standing by the door.

\- When did you change my furniture? – I asked, curious.

\- Did you really wanted to sleep in a twin bed? And with all the clothes you and your mother sent, the old closet was useless.

\- Well, I am a woman dad, its nature. We just need more clothes; it comes into to the xx chromosome.

\- Hardy har har, well if you need some help to unpack call me, I'll be downstairs. Is pizza good for dinner? – He asked me, I knew there was a game in the TV he wanted to see, so I just nodded and let him go.

After all I needed to get used to this new reality. The new mattress was comfortable enough, so that's good. All my boxes were cluttered in one corner of the room. I unpacked the first two boxes and put the books away by the desk, two more boxes to go and the bags and I'll be set. I also turned on my laptop and sent an email to my mother letting her know that dad was breaking my strict diet for tonight.

The pizza was good enough, but I couldn't let myself eat more than three slices or my body would turn on me. I watched TV with my dad for a while, when he changed the channel to some comedy on Fox I forced him to change it back to ESPN, I hated stupid comedies, so I just let him know. Sometime after ten I went back to my room to finish my unpacking. Charlie came by to say good night he had to be early tomorrow at the station. I asked him if he could leave some money for groceries in the table so I can have something to do tomorrow.

The man was probably so tired of fast food he gave me the money right there and then. Once he went to sleep I continued putting stuff away in the closet. I finished probably around midnight; by then I was so exhausted that even the rain felt like a lullaby.

I slept a dreamless sleep; I was kind of glad about that, my patience was running low at this point. When I woke up it was past ten in the morning, a part of me didn't wanted to get out of bed, I just wanted to lay there until Monday morning. But I decided otherwise, I just got up and headed to the bathroom. I walked downstairs only to find my dad gone, the keys of the Chevy were lying in the kitchen bar. I was so ready to get into it, but I forgot a very important factor, I needed a shower, pronto.

The water pressure was still horrible, but it did the job, the warm water washed away some of the stress that started forming around my neck. My impatience dissipated with the scent of my shampoo and conditioner.

Looking in the mirror, I could still recognize myself, even though the changes that my body had suffered during the last few years. I still had a fair skin, but it looked so much healthier than what it used to be, my hair was longer, shinier, the reddish locks were more prominent than the brown now, thanks to my protein diet. The biggest change I think it's just my muscles, my abs were hard, my breasts even more perkier than they were before. My arms, back and legs have definition, my waist is smaller and my butt a little rounder and defined. I looked feminine and strong. I felt strong.

I am strong, I mean no vampire strong but human strong.

I took a long sleeved grey sweater, skinny jeans and my brand new rider boots. I was ready to head towards the freezing air on the outside. The rain was falling heavily at this time, I wondered if it was a good idea to wait, just to see if it dissipated to a lighter atmosphere.

But then again this is Forks, the rain could continue for three years and no one would question it. I grabbed an umbrella and headed out, the water splashing everywhere around me. I got into the truck's cabin, the smell of tobacco, gasoline and mint were the most prominent.

The familiar feel of the wheel is just wonderful under my fingertips, I used both hands to drive, just to not get completely rid of the feelings the truck incite in me. I drove effortlessly to the local thrift mart; feelings of familiarity eased the muscles that I didn't know were cramped. I grabbed everything I could afford, vegetables, cereals, meat and fruits, I had to keep the regulated diet because if I just let myself go, the last two years would go to waste. I also pick a couple of topper wear and kitchen towels; Charlie doesn't own anything like it, he isn't very good at the housewife department.

However while I am in the meat department I could feel eyes on me, I completely forgot that not even in the supermarket I was safe from the curious stares. I grabbed the last two items needed to make chicken enchiladas and directed myself towards the cash register. 53.78 dollars later I was out of the store.

I didn't wanted to head home quite yet, so I just drove around for a couple of minutes, when I drove past the school; I wish I hadn't done that, the memories flowered in my brain like an old movie in black and white, him walking towards me, him kissing me in front of the whole school, his family welcoming me as one of their own even though we could not be any more different.

"Your time is coming, hang in there honey" Elizabeth's voice echoed in my head.

\- You know that's just really creepy! Get out of my head. – Like mother like son I guess, maybe that's where he got it from. Creepy mental stalkers, at least I got protection from one of them.

At home there was nothing much to do apart from dinner, so I just cleaned around a little bit, I had lunch at 1 pm, and I just decided to get out of the house for a little; maybe a good run would be good to the restlessness that seemed to be over my shoulder at every turn. A waterproof jacket, some leggings and a pair of running shoes later, I was running at the side of the street, where I knew not many cars passed by. I ran as fast as my lungs could keep me alive; every single muscle in my body burnt but that was good, feeling alive at least for a while.

And then my heart stopped, the restlessness came back full force to my tired shoulders. Coming my way at the end of the street was a black Mercedes, heading north. I knew that car. It could only belong to someone in this town. I just got a glimpse of the car, but it felt as if they were nothing more than a urban legend to me. But they were real, real as the water falling down on me right now, as real as the pavement under my feet.

I needed them, not only Edward but all of them.

But I needed him the most. The same old story.

Whit a heavy heart, I had to do a u turn and go back to Charlie's house. I didn't run this time I just let the rain wash my pain away, without even noticing I realized I had at least ran 2 miles… I will be sore tomorrow. Once I saw the empty driveway, I felt even heavier.

For how long do I have to be alone? Edward and Emma remember… They are worth it, they are worth the waiting; I showered for the second time during the day, hot scalding water in need to avoid a cold. I couldn't afford to get sick now.

At this point I was cooking in auto-pilot, trying not to think too much about anything. Once Charlie got home it became a little easier, putting a strong front for him. I didn't want him to feel bad for my pain, because in all reality it didn't have to do with him. It was my brokenhearted self. I've spent all my afternoon cooking Enchiladas for him, he seemed to love them, he asked for seconds and asked me to pack him some for tomorrow, he had to cover the morning shift for another officer.

So I will have all Sunday for me again, oh joy!

Get my sarcasm? No I don't think you did.

That way I couldn't sleep all night, thinking about what his reaction might be, he will hate me the first day that's for sure, I am going to make his suffer through one hour of hell, but there is nothing I could do on that end. The only thing that I could do was to not move and pray he would not eat me. But I needed to trust him, because if we were given this second chance at life, we got to make it count and no matter how many obstacles we go thru

The sun had risen by the time I came to that conclusion.

Thinking about the Cullen's made me think about Jacob, I had broken his heart too. The best course of action I can take this time is to not talk to him. To avoid the wolves this time instead of going to la push every chance I get. It was for the better after all, my relationship with them just complicated everything. I got out of bed once again in autopilot, drained of any kind of energy probably because of my lack of sleep. Charlie is gone this morning too. So that means no fancy breakfast, just a couple of bananas and a slice of toast with peanut butter. I drown my sorrows with milk while I put a movie on the TV, there is the old version of Robin Hood with Kevin Costner and Alan Rickman.

Alan Rickman is the man! I watched it all the way to the end and because I hadn't slept the night before, the heaviness on my body increased with each passing second, my eye lids had gotten too heavy for me to hold, so I just let them fall.

Dreams are weird, you can tell you are dreaming, but nothing is real, and then again there is always something that makes you doubt yourself. I am standing in a dark room and there is another me, kind of like a mirror image. But it's not my reflection, it's another me; another breathing Bella, she is smiling and waving and I am just standing there staring at her. She waved her hand, telling me to get closer, and I did, her lips formed a mocking smile.

When I was in front of her, she took my hand in hers and forced me forwards to walk into the darkness with her.

\- Do you want to know what's inside your brain? – Her voice, my voice was strange, too mellow, and too sweet, my voice was not that high was it?

\- What's going on? Who are you?

\- I am you silly.

\- This is too weird; I need to wake up…

\- Silly Bella, you are awake! I am just here to tell you what you wanted to hear.

\- I don't know what's going on in my head; clearly I have some bigger issues than I thought. – Her laughter echoed in the darkness.

\- You have no idea – her expression got serious – I just wanted to tell you a secret…

I didn't say anything waiting for her to continue.

\- You will always be protected.

I woke up the same way I fell asleep.

Everything was the same, the TV was on, the kitchen clean, my cup was now empty and the sun was nowhere to be seen; probably in some far away land. I looked at the clock on the wall and realized that I had slept over 6 hours. It didn't feel like it though.

Might as well start dinner, there was nothing much to do.

Steaks sound really good about now…

* * *

Until Friday! have fun!


End file.
